Monday, March 28, 2011

Ramblings and thoughts

Starting to settle into the new life. It is much different to live in a home with 5 kids, it is like having a house full of parrots the only difference is I can cage the parrots can't the kids!

I was able to ransom another one of my parrots, my goffin cockatoo, Birdie. When I went to pick him up, it just broke my heart, and I do mean break my heart, it felt like it was ripped from me. I saw the condition this person had my parrots or should I say ex parrots in. Conditions they have never been in, they were in this little shed out back with no a/c no tv, no radio even. He had some on the front porch that was not screened in, he had one and only one in the house. Have I mentioned how much I hate Donny? I hate him truly hate him. I hate him for what he has put me through all 13 yrs of our marriage and for my stupidity of letting it happen and keep happening. I hate him for getting rid of the one thing that meant something to me and that I loved truly loved with all my heart. This person offered to let me come see them any time I wanted to. How can you do that if it does this to you every time you see them? I just can not do it. I know I will never be able to get any more of them back and it would be so bad on me and on them to keep seeing them knowing that it was this way. Even if I could rescue some back it would only be 4 of them and it would be a hard choice to make. 

Then he has the audacity to even think I would return to him. He is under the impression that if he gets a home set up for me, and gets my parrots back that I will return to him.................NOT.... he is not even on the same page here. He is delusional and living in a world of his own. Why would I return to him? for the same type life and worrying for meeting the bills. Bills that I found out he was telling me he was paying and he was not paying them at all. Major bills the ones that make sure you have a place to live and electricity to help run it. I am so pissed, hurt and just can not describe the feeling that I am going through at the moment. 

I am thankful that I have a friend that has parrots also. She has given me 2 parrots to help me mend the rift of my heart. 2 beautiful parrots that are sweet. One is a severe macaw and the other is a amazon. They are both amazing parrots. And it has helped some. 

It never ceases to amaze me what people do even people you think you know like forever, or been married to. Like for example someone you are married to, or a best friend.


Ramona said...

hang in there girl if you need me just holler - i've been busy with a few quilts n have calluses on my hands now -- few too many quilts lol - hubby keeps buying me different sewing machines - 3rd one in as many months came today - tty soon

Moppet said...

lol so many machines how do you pick which to use?
and thanks I will keep it in mind. just so much going through my head its hard to sort through