Thursday, March 31, 2011

Here it is the end of March!!!

Where has the month of March went to? The last day of it and I am not sure where it was or gone to. Sounds so me. I lose days and get mixed up so easy that it is not funny at all. 

Here I sit with Birdie, my late nite owl goffin, he has to be first one up and last one to bed. But if he hears me up then he will not go to bed but will scream at me. so am cleaning the kitchen up and trying to unwind as today was another one for the record. rain and 5 kids or I should say 4 kids trapped in a house inside it, equals mayhem and destruction to the inside of it. And me trying to keep things in control. Daughter is so sick and is on couch/bed rest until surgery which was to be tomorrow but got cancelled because of another issue they found and that one has to be dealt with first for them to be able to do the surgery. so here is hoping that next week will be good news. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

Ramblings and thoughts

Starting to settle into the new life. It is much different to live in a home with 5 kids, it is like having a house full of parrots the only difference is I can cage the parrots can't the kids!

I was able to ransom another one of my parrots, my goffin cockatoo, Birdie. When I went to pick him up, it just broke my heart, and I do mean break my heart, it felt like it was ripped from me. I saw the condition this person had my parrots or should I say ex parrots in. Conditions they have never been in, they were in this little shed out back with no a/c no tv, no radio even. He had some on the front porch that was not screened in, he had one and only one in the house. Have I mentioned how much I hate Donny? I hate him truly hate him. I hate him for what he has put me through all 13 yrs of our marriage and for my stupidity of letting it happen and keep happening. I hate him for getting rid of the one thing that meant something to me and that I loved truly loved with all my heart. This person offered to let me come see them any time I wanted to. How can you do that if it does this to you every time you see them? I just can not do it. I know I will never be able to get any more of them back and it would be so bad on me and on them to keep seeing them knowing that it was this way. Even if I could rescue some back it would only be 4 of them and it would be a hard choice to make. 

Then he has the audacity to even think I would return to him. He is under the impression that if he gets a home set up for me, and gets my parrots back that I will return to him.................NOT.... he is not even on the same page here. He is delusional and living in a world of his own. Why would I return to him? for the same type life and worrying for meeting the bills. Bills that I found out he was telling me he was paying and he was not paying them at all. Major bills the ones that make sure you have a place to live and electricity to help run it. I am so pissed, hurt and just can not describe the feeling that I am going through at the moment. 

I am thankful that I have a friend that has parrots also. She has given me 2 parrots to help me mend the rift of my heart. 2 beautiful parrots that are sweet. One is a severe macaw and the other is a amazon. They are both amazing parrots. And it has helped some. 

It never ceases to amaze me what people do even people you think you know like forever, or been married to. Like for example someone you are married to, or a best friend.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Changes are afoot.

Well changes were made and for good or bad they are done. I feel relieved that it is done or mostly done I should say. 

This decision has cost me all of my parrots with the exception of one of them. My congo grey, sacha. I knew when I made it that I would have a heart of pain because of it. I was just not prepared for it. 

For the ones reading this that really know me. They know that I spent 30 days in jail. For whatever the reason I will never do so again! No man is worth it to ever go to jail. just my opinion on this. 

Let's say I have a healthy respect for my daughter and son in law. How they do it with 5 kids and some are special needs.  I have no clue how they do it on a good day . I would have lost my mind by now. I am living with them as that is where I am at. I enjoy being with my daughter and the grand kids. They look at life so differently from one to another of them. so it is a wide variety with them. 

Now I just have to learn that I do not have to ask permission to go somewhere which I have had to do for the last 13 years of my life. So strange to do so. So now I have to break this habit as I am only responsible for myself. 

And idiot child had the audacity to ask me if I PLANNED ON COMING BACK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Told him he was a damn fool and I was filing for a divorce.   wooooo go me.