Thursday, October 6, 2011

Hello world

I know that I blog more when in manic phase rather than the depression one. but I have to have outlet to put what I need to regardless of it 

What can I say? Things here are not like they should be. Three months into Lissa passing, he is on a dating site. He is coming and going without telling me he is leaving only if I look for him do I find he is gone.  On days off or half day off. He will not help and not even with the kids. He hides in his room. I am very lucky if he vacuums the floor or takes out the trash. 

As the saying goes......rude, crude and socially unacceptable..some of this applies to him. You know you would think living in a house with another adult in it (regardless of the fact he needs to grow up) you would think that I would have someone to talk with. well so much for thinking that.

I am really bothered about the dating site with her gone for only 3 months. that shows how little he thought of my daughter. but he is telling people or misleading them that he is doing it all. taking care of the house and everything on his own. it is OMG why am I here then. I can tell you! A babysitter for the kids while he is at work, and a housekeeper, and laundry person. I am not allowed to take my grandkids off as "THEY ARE HIS CHILDREN!" and that is the way he screamed it at me.  I am not even authorized to take them to the doctor. Oh no only he is..I shudder at what he is saying behind my back. I would like to be a fly on the wall. I have a new counselor which I requested because all of a sudden he has started to work half days on thursdays knowing I have therapy appts on that day. so I have had to call and cancel couple and reschedule them. Now he is only off on Mondays. So with doing this I have to get a new counselor that works on monday. so should be interesting. I hate the thought of going over it in detail yet again. 

This is the second day of Lorelei being home. Yesterday I could see it her being here. But today only because he did not get up before 7 am so instead of taking her to school he just kept her home. I pray it is not another day like yesterday and she is whining and crying and at some points screaming all mixed in. I was totally frazzled and I was in bed by 10:30 pm. which never happens unless I am sick..